Understanding..

Its a tough word. So vast in meaning, scope and application. What to understand? Whom to Understand? How to make someone understand. Its tough, really!! Take, for instance, this example.

You are upset. There are a thousand reasons for you to be upset. They are all petty and they are numerous. You dont know which one to state, which one to ponder upon, where to draw the line and most difficult of all, how to make someone understand why they are important enough to be issues which can upset you and inturn upset others. 

Now what do you do? You try and ignore some of them. You try to find solution to some of them. You solve some of them. You are feeling better. You have also succeeded in trying to put a small bit here and there of all this crap in someone's mind. And when you finally are at a stage where you are over these, the understanding gives way; or rather the misunderstanding gives way to some more of them. And then, its like a chain reaction.

Consider this. You made someone understand why you were upset. And you got over it. And you are all happy because the one whom you told about this all has said he/she understood and understands and will understand. And then all of a sudden, something happens, very small, very petty, not at all important and all of it goes for a toss.

Now, I know its making no sense.. but you have got to realize, if I were good enough to make you understand what I meant I would never have been writing this post in the first place..

So, Keep tryin.. n lemme knw wen u do... UNDERSTAND

Kaun??

kuch keh dun aaj ki ab reh nahin paungi..
kaise ab aur main khud ko manaungi..
kaise kahun ki sab seh gayi hun..
kaise manu ki bas ek main reh gayai hun..
kaise keh dun ki ab baat koi nahin wo..
kaise keh dun ki bhuli wo yaadein nahin jo..
ab har pal aur mujhko yaad aa rahin hai..
baat be baat mujhko tarsa rahi hai..
wo har pal, wo har din ki kheenchatani..
wo hansna, wo rona aur wo anbani..
yaad aata hai har wo din jab hum wahan the..
sapno se ab hai wo pal tab jo yahan the..
kitne sawal aaj dil me mere hai..
kuch khali se hai aur kuch me aansu bhare hai..
sochti hun ki kaun ab mujhe har pal sunaega..
kaun meri galti mujhko bataega..
kaun hasega meri baaton pe, kaun muskuraega??
aur kaun meri harkaton se dukhi hokar mujhe samjhaega..
kaun subah mere liye khada hokar wait karega..
kisse kahungi., " ab chal aur kitna late karega??"
kaun mujhe canteen le kar jayega??
kaun zabardasti khana khilayega??
kaun meri stupid baatein dhyan dekar sunega??
kaun meri bewkoofi par jal bhunega??
kaun mere novels utha ke rakhega??
kaun meri theories sun kar hasega??
kaun kahega bas kar ab kitna ghisegi..
kaun mujhe kahega, tu bura fasegi..
kaun chup reh kar bhi baatein karega??
kiska haath mere kandhe pe tab rahega??
kisse poochungi ab bata kya karun main??
kisse poochungi ye kiya, ab darun na darun main??
kiske saath main bus ki aakhiri seat pe baithungi??
kisko fir ticket ka fan bana kar main doongi??
kisse silly doubts bahut seriously main poochungi??
kiske answers ko fir yaad karke hasungi??
kiske saath exam se pehle notes share karungi??
kab photocopy ke liye 2 ghante pehle khadi rahungi??
kisse admit card kho dene par ro kar kahungi??
kisse extra sheet ke taane sunkar mai sahungi??
kaun mere sandals ke shor ki kahani kahega??
kaun meri speed aur writitng ki charcha karega??
kaun pracs me viva saath dene se darega..
aur bura jo manu to mera har kaam karega??
kaun mujhe proxy ke liye ab call karega??
kaun prof ko na bulane ki request karega??
kaun meri basketball shoot par taali bajaega?/
kaun meri khushi me ab muskuraega??
kaun har galti me bhi saath rahega??
kaun disco ko bhi saath has kar sahega??
kaun balcony se kudne ki baatein karega??
kaun fir daant ke, mana ke, samjha ke kahega??
kiske saath band taaalon ko gaali main doongi??
kiski baaatein sunakar sabko main khoob hasungi??
kiske saath baith kar fest ab attend karungi?
kiske saath maggi aur coke piyungi??
kaun mujhe movies ke liye har baar poochega??
aur ek hi jawab sun ke kitni baar roothega..
kaun fir picture ki kahani sunaega??
kaun kitabon ke baare me bataega??
kiske saath samay ko yun bhool jaungi??
raat bhar baith kar kisko kisse sunaungi??
kisse gaane sunne ki zid ab karungi??
kisko pizza order karne ko ab main kahungi??
kiske aansu ponchne ko haath ab badhenge??
batao ye lamhe kaise bhulenge???
koi wo din mujhko lauta de..
koi mujhe fir se wahi sab la de..
koi fir se mere saath hanse jo...
koi fir se saath me ro de jo..
ab na ye samay fir ayega..
yun hi shabdo me yaad ayega..
fir dheere dheere dhundla kar mit jayega..
kyon aur kaise na koi samjhaega...
yahi hai sach aur ye hi rahega..
ab nahin mujhko mera har pal milega..
ab nahin mujhko mera har pal milega..
ab nahin mujhko mera har pal milega..

A Thousand Splendid Suns....

I had heard about Taliban, I had heard about Afghanistan, I had heard about Osama, I had heard about September 11 attack, I had heard about Polygamy being practised legally, I had heard about child marriages, i had heard about 'Madarsa Education', I had heard
about unwed mothers... I had heard about all of it before. But if I came anywhere close to understand the meaning of any of it to even a fraction of reality it was by the book 'A Thousand Splendid Suns'.
How a mother dies in want of her illegitimate daughter who is tricked by her 'so - called' father in believing that he is the one who has his heart open for the child.How that daughter realises the fact after being left to sleep on streets because it may tarnish her father's ( in want of a better word) reputation to take her in inspite of having 3 wives and 10 children.How that man is unable to do or understand what to do of his illegitimate daughter when her mother commits suicide and his wives consider the girl as a burden.How that girl is forced to marry brute of a man some thirty odd years older than her who treats her as a baby bearing machine to get him a son he almost murdered himself due to his negligience in drunk state.How she is told about a married woman being the sole property of her husband who treats her worse than a piece of furniture in the worst corner of the house when she fails to give him a 'waaris', a son.
Time passes.How there is a family who celebrates the birth of a bay girl as happily as they would have done for a boy.How when the sons of the family have gone for war against communists the mother's life almost stops, forgetting she has a daughter too.How the father takes care of the girl, her schooling and of the house.How there can be pure and innocent love, unconditional love amidst all such haterd, war, ignorance and pity.How there are teachers in schools in kabul, trying to teach students that everyone is equal and sshould be treated so.How a girl cant mourn her brothers' death as she has never really been with them, owing to the fact that they had been fighting for their country as mujahideens, whom she had never been able to consider akive in the first place.How those Buddha statues were actually there in Afghanistan once upon a time.How people celebrated the exit of soviets from Afghanistan.How feelings are all the same irrespective of time/place/people and the thousand restrictions.How someone's absence can make you go mad, ignorant of the world beyond.How the lives change with a bomb.
Small lapse.The girl starts recovering.Is told about her lover's death, a lie.Is proposed to get married to a man more than thrice her age as his second wife.A woman the age of her mother as the former wife of her husband.The birth of a baby girl, change in man's behaviour.Coming together of the two women.Plans to escape.Failure and the tortureRise of Taliban:
"All citizens must pray five times a day. If it is prayer time and you are caught doing something other, you will be beaten.All men will grow their beards. The correct length is at least one clenched fist beneath the chin. If you do not abide by this, you will be beaten.All boys will wear turbans. Boys in grade one through six will wear black turbans, higher grades will wear white. All boys will wear Islamic clothes. Shirt collars will bebuttoned.Singing is forbidden.Dancing is forbidden.Playing cards, playing chess, gambling, and kiteflying are forbidden.Writing books, watching films, and painting pictures are forbidden.If you keep parakeets, you will be beaten. Your birds will be killed.If you steal, your hand will be cut off at the wrist. If you steal again, your foot will be cut off.If you are not Muslim, do not worship where you can be seen by Muslims. If you do, you will be beaten and imprisoned.If you are caught trying to convert a Muslim to your faith, you will be executed.Attention women:You will stay inside your homes at all times. It is not proper for women to wander aimlessly about the streets. If you go outside, you must be accompanied by amahram,a male relative. If you are caught alone on the street, you will be beaten and sent home.You will not, under any circumstance, show your face. You will cover with burqa when outside. If you do not, you will be severely beaten.Cosmetics are forbidden.Jewelry is forbidden.You will not wear charming clothes.You will not speak unless spoken to.You will not make eye contact with men.You will not laugh in public. If you do, you will be beaten.You will not paint your nails. If you do, you will lose a finger.Girls are forbidden from attending school All schools for girls will be closed immediately.Women are forbidden from working.If you are found guilty of adultery, you will be stoned to deathListen. Listen well. Obey.Allah-u-akbar."
Which Religion preachs this way?
Another Lapse.A woman gives birth to a baby boy in inhuman conditions because there are no hospitals for woman except one, which is overcrowded, has no medicines and facilities.Discrimation between the baby boy and baby girl is visible.Her husband's first wife poses as her mother to have her treated and have a delivery without complications.The woman is made to send her own daughter to orphanage.She is beaten for no offense.The man is killed, one of the two faces punishment by law and other repents
Is this life???I am still unable to grasp..Are you??

I MISS THOSE DAYS..

I get up in the morning... look around and tell myself.. its not my hostel room!!!!

Ranja not here..

No familiar tables and chairs ... my dustbin, my broom!!!

that cluttered cupboard.. that cot, that tubelight and fan..

Nothing is same anymore..

Not even the notebooks, the diaries and pen..

I long for that place, those corridors, those plates and glass..

those bookracks loaded with anything but textbooks..

that wait for the washrooms when getting late for the class..

That full time masti and those flaxon & nimuslide tablets in pain..

those turns to iron, and cards first thing in the morning..

those " Bhaiya, breakfast rakh dena..." statements time and again..

that "fruity n butter toast" breakfast while going to mech..

those endless talks ..

that run to admn, class, hostels back to back..

the usual stuff , legpulling, tinkling laughter, precious smiles..

empty classrooms, laoded canteen..

the race to acad block for anything worthwhile...

lectures and tutorials and labs and pracs and God knows what..

midsem and endsems..

everyone asking everyone else,"keep your mouth shut".

still moments later all grouped, discussing everything from roads to movies to friends..

TV room loaded only at that time..

the gossiping which at that time knew no ends...

I miss Type Five, Elec canteen, OAT, Science block..

sports complex..

those random, stretched to hours, evening walk...

I miss vada sambhar, tea, burger, shakes of mech canteen..

chinese platter, onionless noodles..

all sorts of places in the campus where I have been..

I miss the pond, baasketball court, main gate, road behind T-V...

scribbles on desks...

and room 106, where we used to sing and jive...

I miss nursery bolck, our practice ground for dramatics...

all my plays..

all actors, their mimics, scripts, Ashish, Ayush,Chirag and their antics...

Madhur, Rahul, Sakshi, Navneet, Priyanka, Abhishek and "Taming of the shrewed"

the convo stage...

the break time, excuses for being late, the coffee that in TV brewed..

I miss my auditions for pratibimb, reaching at 9'O' clock in the night...

joyrides of 879..

ragging my batchmates in first year.. those silly catfights...

I miss U-Special, jampacked on every monday, boarding it along with those travelbags..

Dhar and Anu..

Karan and his novels, smiling faces always, even when crowd should have caused them to sag..

I miss my rapid walks from IT block to hostel and then to class..

those Hi's and Hello's...

Oh what great days, what brilliant time it was..

I miss being either on the second bench on the left or with all you guys..

Vipin, Ravi, Sukhi, John, Adi, Laveen, Manish, Mayank, Vijay

I remember Asif getting irritated by my Hi's and Bye's..

I miss the group sitting, guessing what new prank today..

Alka, Deepika, Ritu, Reena,Youthika..

I remember your parting hugs when we all went away...

I miss Ankur and Vaibhav not being in the class for most of the time..

Nischal, Varun, Kunal, Asif, Rohit, Saurabh.

friends for life.. making me laugh or stop from crying..

I miss Sangeeta and her typical ways to talk..

Sushmita and the rumours..

Those hostel theme parties, the destinationless walk..

I miss "H" Group, first floor, mech block..

Workshop, fitting, foundry, welding..

Those stupid things I did, ED classes at 9'O' Clock..

I miss Dhar, Anu, Rachna, Ranja.. our roli poly friends..

Swati,Neha, Mahesh, Sandeep, Arun, Nitin,Abhishek..

prachi and her inummeral fans..

I miss those letters, chalk, water, running around..

those consoling words..

All those things which now just cant be found..

I miss Engifest, Innova, Tatva, Troika, Phoenix and "Abhyudaya", all our own..

Student's Council, CR elections..

Those legpulling sessions, tears and still 'Nothing', many times I had sworn..

I miss Dehradun, Mussorie, Gunhill and Kempty Fall..

Surveying Trip & those days..

Hotel Naveen, Skipped meals, terrace, I MISS YOU ALL..

That Ahmedabad trip and nine of us with Saroj Bala Ma'am...

IIM A campus..

Train and the food, Reena and snaps and Nokia phone cam..

I miss "Civil & Environmental Engineering" block, HOD room, the feather..

classes we attended!!

Mass bunks being spoiled almost always by one or the other..

I miss Enviro lab.. Lab Assistants.. Professors and the cliched lectures..

The theory and SK Garg..

I miss our concern for solar energy and waste and other ventures..

I miss Apsara, BTW, MetroWalk, M2K, TDI, Lifestyle,Japanese park..

What else do I write??

I MISS THE LIFE, THOSE DAYS AND THAT SPARK..